I was driving into town one day, listening to the radio, when I heard some very disturbing things. There is a song that was playing on the radio by an artist known as ‘Shaggy’ and the title of the song was “Angel”. The chorus of the song says “You’re my angel, you’re my darling, angel/ Closer than my peeps you are to me/ You’re my angel, you’re my darling, angel/ You’re my friend when I’m in need, Lady.” This song disturbed me on a couple of levels; I’ll grab the semantic one first:
“Closer than my peeps you are to me”… What’s that supposed to mean?! According to my dictionary, peeps are the sounds made by small chickens, and to peep usually means to look through a small crevasse. Oddly enough, according to Wal-mart, a peep is a small, marshmallow-like baby chicken. What is Shaggy saying here? Is he saying that the lady in question is closer to him than the sounds made by small chickens, or that she is closer to him than his favorite Easter-time snack? Am I alone when I say that that makes no sense? I certainly hope not. All sarcasm aside, I realize that he’s saying that his “darling” is closer to him than any of his other friends, but why the need for the unintelligible language? As I am fond of saying: words mean things. If you are going to use words, especially if you are aiming it towards the masses, you had better know what those words mean and use them correctly, or intelligentsia will deem you ignorant (by intelligentsia, I mean most of the English-speaking world).
I also realize that ‘Shaggy’ has an audience he is trying to reach. But doesn’t he see the disservice he is doing to his audience? He is essentially teaching them that they don’t have to learn proper English to succeed in life. The sad thing is, it’s working. I am a regular at a website where people post questions asking for advise on their everyday lives, and it’s disheartening to see how many people in the world have no clue how to properly construct a sentence so others can understand what they are saying. Some of the moderators have attempted to address the issue, but most people don’t want to be told that the things they say are incorrect based on the rules of the English language. It’s difficult to try and help people without looking like you think you’re better than they are. People, as a whole, don’t want to be wrong, and that makes it almost impossible to teach someone who thinks they are right.
Now for the one that disturbed me the most: “You’re my friend when I’m in need.” I certainly hope he’s not saying what I think he’s saying. If he is, that’s a very stupid thing to say, especially to someone whom you claim is your “angel”. If someone means the world to you, then they are your friend no matter what! Saying that this lady is your friend when you are in need is saying that you want her around only when you want something. What’s that saying about your character?? Again, this individual is sending this out to the masses and they are buying into it. This explains why there are so many relationships that are in trouble today. It’s not just ‘Shaggy’ that’s putting this re-definition of love out there, it’s most of the mass media (e.g. the entertainment industry). It’s now vogue to be divorced, or to have had numerous relationships by a certain age (e.g. ten relationships by age 35), and this is partly because of the “throw away” society that we live in. It seems as though no one wants to put any effort into much of anything anymore, including relationships. I realize that if you’re involved with someone that doesn’t respect you or abuses you, then you need to get out of that relationship because there is someone out there that does care about you and would never hurt you. But the proliferation of that idea (“there’s more fish in the sea”) has turned the relationships of today into something you can just throw away because there’s always someone else you can go to. This facilitates a lack of respect for relationships. If you don’t have to work to attain something, you usually don’t give it the respect it deserves, and the same goes for something that you think is “a dime a dozen”. If I know that I can get any amount of bottles of Pepsi for free, and they are all the same and contain the same amount of Pepsi, then I won’t care if I finish the Pepsi I have in my hand. If the Pepsi I’m currently drinking gets warm, then I throw it away because I know I have colder Pepsi’s at my disposal, and this one isn’t worth me holding on to. It works the same for relationships. If you don’t like the guy/girl you are with right now, you can just throw them away and go someplace where you can pick up another one. It’s that easy. But what are we doing to the fabric of our society by doing this?
People don’t realize that with every relationship comes a connection that can’t be easily severed, even if it’s not a sexual relationship. Whenever you have an emotional connection with someone, part of them stays with you for the rest of your life. You can’t go through life not learning things. You grab a red hot skillet from the stove, you learn that a red hot skillet will burn your hands. The same thing happens in relationships. You see someone that you like, you get involved in a relationship with that person, they hurt you and you break up, then you are on the lookout for a sign that the next person is like the one you just had; because if the next one has that same characteristic, then you know to not get too emotionally invested in that relationship. But if “the next one” has true feelings for you and gives everything to you, but you are still reserved because you are looking for a warning sign, then that hurts “the next one” and they leave you. In the end, there are hurt feelings all over the place because people don’t want to have to work at a relationship.
I have a brother and a sister that have been married to their respective partners for over 13 years and they can tell you that marriage takes a lot of hard work to get over the things that bother you. Marriage takes compromise, and compromise takes work. There’s no way around it. If you want to have a relationship that means anything, then you have to work at it. I have heard of many people who have just lived together for a long time, but they eventually break up for one reason or another. The main reason why is there isn’t any commitment there. Yeah a marriage license is “just a piece of paper”, but it’s a symbol more than anything. Just like the American flag is a symbol of freedom to the rest of the world, a marriage license is a symbol of true, honest commitment. At least, it should be. But the foundation of that symbol is being quietly destroyed by the, afore mentioned, mass media.
Sometimes it seems like we are gaining ground in regards to moral/congenial stability, then we see evidence (i.e. ‘Shaggy’) that we are far from where we would like to be. Some would call me intolerant, while others would just call me a religious freak, but I would love to see America return to the chivalry of the 40’s and 50’s. There’s a reason for that time period being considered ideal. Men acted like men and women acted like women. Would someone please invent the time machine?